


Essentials of Happiness

by gestaltrose



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Body Swap, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-20
Updated: 2011-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-15 19:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gestaltrose/pseuds/gestaltrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean blunder into a monster and they wake up to find out they have company.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Essentials of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> An AU bodyswap… kind of. You really need to read it to understand. The Winchester universe is a bit different that the one we watch… hopefully I explained it well

Dean woke up with a headache from hell. Turning his head, he didn’t recognize where he was, could be any of a number of motel rooms that he and Sam had stayed at. Ugly brown carpet and god awful wallpaper with paisley curtains, it was just as bad as any other place. The set designers had out done themselves this time. Wait, set designers? Where the hell had that come from? A glance at the card that was on the bedside table said they were in Oklahoma. Great.

Sitting up and regretting it instantly, he looked for Jared. No, he looked for Sam. Dean wondered if he was losing his mind. First set designers then Jared? Who the fuck was Jared? He could see a body in the other bed in the room. “Sam,” he croaked out, like his voice hadn’t been used in a while. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Sam.”

His brother stirred and Dean saw him put his hand to his head, like he had the same headache. What the hell was going on? Thinking back, the last thing he remembered they had been after some sort of large lizard. So what if it breathed fire, it wasn’t a dragon no matter what Sam said. Sam also had said it was the embodiment of an Aztec sorcerer, Vitzil. . .something or the other. Had they killed it?

Remembering an explosion and not much else, Dean frowned and that made his head hurt too.

 _“Jensen?”_ Sam said from the other bed. Dean started to say something automatically, but then he stopped himself. Jensen? Why did that sound familiar? Why did it feel familiar?

“Sam?” Dean asked, not sure now who was in the other bed. It looked like his brother but after everything they had been through, anything was possible. Like possession maybe?

“Dean?” Sam responded and Dean gave out a relieved huff.

“How’s the head?”

“Hurts like hell. What the fuck happened?” Sam sounded as perplexed as he felt.

“Dunno,” Dean said, wincing. His head felt like it was going to split open and spill his brains on the bed. They should have some narcotics in the first aid kit, but that would mean getting up, which, if the rolling of his stomach at just the thought was any indication, would result in him barfing his guts out.

Watching as Sam sat up, Dean winced in sympathy as Sam moaned and reached for the trash can. Breathing threw his nose, he was doing okay until the smell hit him. Then, head killing him or not, he headed to the bathroom and barely made the toilet before he was heaving into it. Whatever Sam had eaten that was so rank, he had had too. He threw up until he was sure his stomach was going to try to crawl out of his mouth.

Realizing that Sammy was standing and holding out a washcloth and a glass of water after getting up, Dean took them both. He wiped his face off and rinsed out his mouth, spitting it into the sink. Finally he noticed that somewhere in all the barfing he had lost the headache he looked at Sam to see if he felt the same.

“Like your vision headaches?” Dean asked after brushing his teeth. Watching Sam almost convulse on the floor while getting a vision was never pleasant but Dean had a new sympathy if that was the kind of pain Sam felt every time he got one. Dean felt an excited little jump inside of him at the mention of Sam’s visions, a brief burst of adrenaline, but he wasn’t sure why and then it was gone.

Sam nodded as he took his place at the sink.

“But no vision?” Dean asked hoping maybe Sam had seen something. Sam stood in front of him, toothbrush stilled in his mouth. His eyes met Dean’s and he blushed. Dean’s eyes widened in anticipation. It had to be something good if he blushed. The last time he blushed, they had both had to fuck that wood nymph at the same time, in order to get their hands on her acorns so they could coerce her into letting go that group of male hikers that she had kidnapped.

“What?” Dean finally asked.

Sam finished brushing his teeth and rinsed. Spitting in the sink, he met Dean’s eyes again. “Nothing.”

“Aww come on, Sammy, tell me,” Dean wheedled and to be kind he even took the trash can and set it outside. _You might get somewhere if you called him Sam,_ he heard a voice say. Cocking his head, it took him a moment to realize two things; one, it had been his voice and two, he hadn’t spoken. Maybe he was going crazy.

Shutting the door, Dean turned to look at Sammy. Sam who actually looked like he was as confused as Dean felt, but Sammy had never been able to hide his problems like Dean had. “Sam,” Dean decided to take the advice, wherever it had come from, “what’s going on?”

“I. . .I think ‘m either possessed or going crazy, Dean.” Sam looked up at Dean. Dean nodded and Sam’s eyes widened. “You too?”

Dean nodded again. “What do we know about possessions?” he asked his geek brother, knowing that he had surely researched it. _You have got to be kidding me,_ the voice that was his yet wasn’t said.

“Umm, holy water, they can’t stand it. I think dad had some in the trunk.” Sam got up and grabbed the keys off the bedside table. Heading out the door, he was stopped when Dean grabbed his arm.

“What if we are possessed? What then?”

“Probably get a hold of Bobby and--” Sam was stopped by a hand to his mouth.

“Just to know you got a plan is good enough.” Dean wasn’t sure just how much those who were possessing the person knew. Sam came back in with a small plastic bottle.

Dean got out a couple of glasses and Sam poured. They both shot them down and watched each other. No, not possessed. What in the fuck was going on then? Dean was never sure which one of them asked it out loud but he sure knew who didn’t answer and that was him. Even though the sound came from his mouth. _“I would sure the hell like to know that.”_

Sam looked at Dean as he spoke with a frown on his face. _“Jensen?”_ There was that name that felt so familiar.

 _“Jared?”_ That name came out of Dean’s mouth again. Then he found himself in Sam’s arms wondering what was happening.

 _“God, Jen, I think I’m going crazy. Did we take some drugs or something?”_

Dean felt himself shake his head. _“Dunno, Jay, it’s like it’s real.”_ Dean wrestled control of his body back and pushed the person in control of Sam away. He was really uncomfortable with just how comfortable he had been in his brother’s arms, with how much he wanted to be there.

Having shoved his brother to the floor, Dean then held out his hand to help him up. “Sam?” he asked.

His very confused baby brother looked up at him from the floor. “What happened to us, Dean?”

Dean had more than a sneaking suspicion that their ‘dragon’ had something to do with it but he didn’t say so, not yet. _Maybe it was the yellow eyed Demon,_ the voice spoke in his head. Dean decided that maybe this Jensen in his head knew what was going on.

 ** _What in the hell are you talking about? What demon?_** Dean questioned.

 _You know, the one that killed your mother?_

 _  
**Mom died in a fire, when we were little.**   
_

_Your mom died pinned to the ceiling, her belly slit and on fire, right?_

 _ **How the fuck do you. . .**_ He was being nearly throttled by Sam. “Dean!”

“What, Sam?” Dean gasped out as Sam shook him.

“Oh. You’re back. Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?” Putting a hand to his head, he realized he was on the floor next to Sam.

“You wouldn’t respond and then you just, I can’t explain it, went away.”

“I was just having a conversation with my alter-ego, I think.” Dean described it the best he could and got a baffled look in return. “I’ve got to think, Sam. Just give me a moment.” Dean got up moved over to the couch and sat down.

“He knows how mom died. How could he know how mom died?” Dean hadn’t realized he had spoken out loud until Sam was sitting next to him.

“How did mom die, Dean?” Sam asked the question for the first time in years.

“In a house fire,” Dean said and his new inner voice snorted at him. _**What?**_

 _Try telling him the truth. . .maybe we can get this shit figured out,_ the voice in Dean’s head said.

“Actually, Sammy.” Dean decided again to try his unpleasant companion’s advice. A sign, he was sure, that he was crazy.

“Don’t, Dean,” Sam stopped him. “I think I know.” When Dean looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow, he continued. “She died, on the ceiling in my room. Bleeding from her belly, just like Jess did.” Sam looked hurt and that was the last thing Dean wanted. “Why, Dean? Why didn’t you or Dad ever tell me that was how mom died too? I had nightmares about Mom for years; I always thought they were just bad dreams.”

“Dad,” Dean said and got a snort from Sam. “He made me promise, Sammy. I was just little and he made me promise to watch out for you and then when you got old enough to start asking what happened, I guess I had just made myself believe what Dad had been telling everyone. God, Sammy, I. . . if I. . .” Dean sputtered to a stop, a sudden guilt choking him.

“I had visions of Jess dying, Dean. Did I ever tell you?” Sam looked at him and Dean shook his head, he had never known when Sam’s visions had started. Just that after Stanford, they had been there and he and Dad had come to rely on them.

“For weeks before she died I kept waking up, terrified to open my eyes and look at the ceiling. Maybe, Dean, just fucking maybe if I had known that mom had died that way. . .” Sam’s voice stopped as if it was cut off and Dean looked at Sam. His face was purple and it was as if he were choking.

Dean hit Sam as hard as he could between the shoulder blades and Sam took a large breath of air.

“Okay. Okay,” Sam murmured.

“You alright?” Dean asked. When he got Sam’s nod, he launched into a full blown apology. It was true, Sam might have been able to save Jess if he and Dad hadn’t lied.

“No, Dean. Jared’s right. I wouldn’t have believed them anyway.”

“Jared?” Dean asked hesitantly. He knew he really didn’t want to know what his brother was going to say.

“My, um. . . what did you call it? Alter-ego, that was it.”

“Sam, what the hell is going on?” Dean looked at his brother and found himself fascinated by Sam’s eyes. They had a way of changing with his mood, from a light green to a golden brownish color. Right now they were somewhere in between. Dean forced himself, as he always did, to look away.

“Vitzilopuchtl,” Sam spit the word out.

“That lizard?” Dean asked. It had always amazed him at how quickly Sam picked up even tongue twisters of names. There was no way Dean was even going to try to say it.

“Sorcerer,” Sam corrected him, “and it was a dragon.”

“What does some damn sorcerer lizard thing have to do with this?” Dean let the frustration show in his voice.

 _Because he thinks it has something to do with Jared and me being here._ Dean heard the voice in his head say.

“And why would he think that?” Dean asked out loud, forgetting Sam was there for a moment.

 _You would too if you would just stop and think. I can see your memories, Dean. You were banishing the thing and it overwhelmed you, told you things. Remember?_

Dean was getting sick and tired of his new passenger’s cocky attitude. “No, I fucking don’t remember,” Dean said, missing the now worried look he was getting from Sam.

 _Fine then, let me show you._

~*~

And with that, Dean found himself standing outside that old abandoned gold mine in New Mexico where they had tracked down that stupid fire breathing lizard. It had already caused two deaths and one case of insanity that they could track. Sam had said it was a creature that lived in cycles, two hundred year cycles to be exact. The problem was that it was around for seven years, and they just couldn’t let it go on killing people. So here they stood.

“Sam, how do we lure it out?” Dean asked, hopeful that the answer had changed.

“I told you, Dean, we can’t. It probably already knows that we’re here.”

Dean sighed. He hated caves. Well, mostly he hated bats but bats and caves, in his experience, always went together. “And we can’t toss in a flare?”

“It’s a dragon, Dean. We toss in a flare, it’ll come out trying to kill us. Just because there might be bats, you don’t want to do this.” Sam had that tone in his voice, that slightly mocking, slightly condescending one that made Dean want to strangle him.

“Just come on.” Dean lifted the sack of supplies to his shoulder. “How do we get rid of it with no body to burn?” He wanted Sam to talk about something other than his fear of bats.

“I told you, we can expel it with this Aztec ritual.”

“That you’re sure is real, just because that Indian gave it to you.”

“That mestizo, Dean, was as close to a pure-blooded Aztec as we can get around here. Her husband was the first one killed and her daughter the one driven insane. She wants this Vitzilopuchtl stopped.”

“Hmmm.” Dean was half listening as they walked deeper and deeper into the cave. He was halted by a hand on his shoulder and Sam flipping on a flashlight, a special one with a filtered lens. They hoped red wouldn’t be noticed by the bats or by the ‘dragon’.

Making their way through twisting passages, Dean murmured something about the things that they did for people and got a slight push from Sam, at just the wrong time. Dean went down with a shout. Their dragon flared, and Dean heard and felt, more than saw, the rush of bats past them. By the time it was over Dean was sitting on the floor shaking and Sam was standing over him waving a bundle of herbs that he had lit on fire.

Sadly neither one of them had taken into consideration what the burning of the purifying herbs in such a confined area would do. Dean heard Sam start coughing.

“Mortals, why do you bother me?” The voice rang through the cave though Dean could have sworn it was echoing in his head. Then he was on his knees puking, next to Sam who was doing the same. His first instinct was to reach out and comfort his brother.

“Hunters, are you? And brothers. And more, or at least you could be. Dean and Sam Winchester, I have been waiting for you.” It paused as if waiting for them to say something. When they didn’t speak, it continued. “Do you know what you fight? Do you know true evil? Do you have it within you, hunters of the dark, to face what you fear most?” The voice spoke to both of them.

“I can face anything you can throw at me!” Dean managed to get to his feet and yell.

“Dean,” Sam hissed.

“Finish the ritual,” Dean said under his breath and kept on trying to distract, whatever it was that they were fighting.

“You desire your brother, yet you fear to act on it. Wise if either of you were normal, if any of this were normal.” Dean noticed that his brother had stopped chanting and pinched him. It didn’t matter if the damn thing spoke the truth, Dean would just convince Sam that it had been lying later, right now they needed Sam to finish the ritual. “But that is not your greatest fear, is it, Dean Winchester? No, more than fearing to act on your desire is that if you did, you are afraid Sam would leave and you would be alone. Isn’t this true?”

“So what if it is? We’ll still be rid of you,” Dean shouted.

“And Sam, oh, Sam. You have grown into your powers, but you need to know more, you need to know the truth.”

Sam stopped his chanting. “What truth?”

“You don’t even know what you are fighting, what has been battling you for almost your entire life, do you? Face your fears, admit the truth and you both might live to see this through.” The dragon just wouldn’t shut up.

Sam dropped the lit bundle of herbs and stepped on it, grinding it into the sandy floor of the cave. Now they were in complete darkness so Dean snapped on his red light. “Sammy, what?” He wanted to know what Sam thought he was doing.

“It was all a set up, Dean. The deaths, the madness, just bait. That old woman, she’s one of yours, isn’t she?” Sam asked the spirit.

In the dim red light Dean could see the dragon shrug. “I need warriors. I need someone who knows the truth.”

“What fucking truth?” Sam asked again.

“Oh, I don’t think so. A truth discovered is a truth believed, a truth told is often considered false.”

“Stop talking like you’re reading a fortune from a fortune cookie,” Dean said.

“Maybe, you need a little help to discover the truth. Just remember there is veracity in invention.”

Dean snorted and then there was this light that filled the cave, seemed to fill Sam and him too. He had finally gotten a good look at what they had been chasing.

“I will give you help, Dean Winchester. Whether you like it or not.” The image of a warrior and a large lizard flickered and then was gone.

~*~

The next thing Dean remembered was waking up with this Jensen person in his head. **_So, you are the one to show me the truth? Who the hell, or what the hell are you?_**

 _I’m Jensen, and where I’m from Dean Winchester is a fictional character on a television program._ This succeeded in making Dean snort.

 **  
_Who’s the fictional one now?_   
**

Jensen appeared to ignore him and continued. _Jared plays Sam and he is probably pretty freaked out, I know I am. If I ever get my hands on that thing, I’ll throttle it. This has got to be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. And you had better give Sam some attention before he has a panic attack._

Dean looked up and Sam was inches away from him. Pupils dilated, panic in his voice. “God, Dean, I swear if you leave me I will find a way to haunt your ass! Shut up, Jared. You have no idea. Damnit, Dean, damn it.” It seemed to take him a bit to realize that Dean was looking back at him.

“Sam, I’m okay,” Dean tried to convince himself and his brother.

Sitting back Sam relaxed a bit. “Your ‘companion’ is as noisy as mine, I take it?” He looked at Dean for confirmation. After a bit of what appeared to be internal dialog, Sam spoke again, “I remember what happened in the cave, do you?”

Dean nodded, fearing what was coming next.

“So, Vitzilopuchtl wants us to know what’s going on, and this Jared and. . .” He looked at Dean.

“Jensen,” Dean supplied.

“This Jared and Jensen know something that we need to know. About demons, I think.”

 _Have you ever read Heinlein?_ that voice, that apparently belonged to Jensen, asked Dean.

 **  
_Well of course, I have. Red Planet, Have Spacesuit Will Travel._   
**

_Not the juveniles, his more recent works… like The Cat who Walks Through Walls?_

 ** _No, why?_** Dean asked.

 _Ask Sam, if nothing else, Jared should remember what it was about._

“Sam, this idiot in my head wants me to ask you about Heinlein,” Dean told Sam and was surprised at the light that came on in his eyes.

“World as Myth. Yes, that would make sense. So then all Vitzilopuchtl did is pull our analogues from a different world. They have the knowledge that we need,” Sam spoke quietly. Of course he would know. “But how do a couple of,” Sam paused to have yet another internal conversation, “actors, TV actors no less, how do they help us?”

“What is world as myth?” Dean asked ignoring, for the moment, Sam’s comment about how Jensen and Jared would or wouldn’t be able to help them.

“It is a multiple reality theory. Basically, it’s that authors really create the worlds they write.”

“So are we real or are Jensen and Jared?” Dean asked.

“Both. Neither. It’s kind of complicated. What it breaks down to is reality is whatever is real to us.”

Dean nodded but he was still confused. “So they aren’t real?”

“Do you believe that we would be having this conversation if they weren’t? They are as real in their reality as we are in ours. Now we just have to figure out what Vitzilopuchtl thought they could tell us, or teach us, then maybe they’ll be able to leave. ‘Cause Jared says he doesn’t know how he got here.”

Dean thought he understood it now, kind of. Enough that it didn’t matter anyway. **_Do you know how you got here?_**

 _No, one minute I was in my trailer with Jared and the next I was waking up with your hangover._

 ** _Not my hangover, thank you very much. I don’t think my brain appreciated having you shoved on it or in it or whatever._** Dean couldn’t decide how to explain what had happened. **_So what do you think you’re here for?_**

 _“Demons,”_ Jensen said with Dean’s mouth. _“We are here to tell you about the Demons.”_

“We already tested for possession,” Sam replied.

 _”Not us,”_ Jensen spoke again. _”If you are fighting what you were up against in our world, then it is Demons you should be hunting. Do you have the Colt?”_

“Yes, we do, but there are only three bullets left.”

Dean looked incredulously at Sam, he had just given away their most secret of secrets, they never talked about the Colt. Dad would have hated it.

“What? Dean, they already know about it, they know almost everything about us. They played us in their world. There seems to be a few different things, like the visions aren’t the same. And apparently you sold your soul to bring me back from the dead. Some of the big things are different but the little stuff… the stuff that anyone could screw up, they know it.” Sam explained.

 _ **I sold my soul?**_ “I sold my soul?”

 _For Sam. Tell me, Dean, is there anything you wouldn’t do for your brother? I know you, I’ve been you. Just be thankful that you didn’t have to make that choice, because I know what you would do._ Dean found he couldn’t reply, because it was true. He would do anything for Sam. Sam who was now watching him with this odd look on his face.

“I think we need to talk to Bobby,” Sam said.

“You think Bobby is going to help with this?”

“What the hell do you suggest, Dean?” Sam sounded as tired as he felt.

“You,” Dean got up and started pacing, it had always helped him think better, “you ask this Jensen questions, about me about us and then I’ll do the same to this Jared person. Maybe if we get some answers quick, they can leave and things can go back to normal.” Dean flopped down beside Sam and tried to relax the death hold he had on Jensen, to allow him to speak. It wasn’t easy but eventually he managed.

Sam seemed to know when Dean finally let go because he said, “Jensen?”

 _“Yeah,”_ Jensen said, rubbing at Dean’s neck in a nervous habit.

“What was Dean’s favorite toy?”

 _“You mean the stuffed bear he keeps hidden at the bottom of his duffel?”_ Jensen gave Sam a small smile.

“He does? That sly dog, I thought Mr. Snuggles was tossed a long time ago,” Sam said with a smirk on his face. “What about school? What was his favorite subject?”

If Sam was trying to trip Jensen up, he didn’t fall for it. _“His last contemporary lit class was good but I would have to say physical education.”_

Sam looked at Jensen with a bit of surprise in his face. “But he failed every last PE class he took.”

Jensen snorted. _“Remember the whole, ‘dress down’ rule? If Dean didn’t come to school in his sweats, he didn’t get to participate.”_

Looking at Jensen in confusion, Sam asked why.

 _“Um. . .scars, Sam. You never got as many as Dean did, but your Dad didn’t put you in harm’s way quite as much as he did Dean.”_ Jensen lifted his shirt to prove his point. Scars traced their way across Dean’s skin like a map but the most noticeable were ones that ran down his back to his left side. Claw marks, deep and puckered. Sam seemed to remember when Dean had got them.

“So why did he like it so much?”

 _“Because it was something he was always good at, he challenged himself all the time. Probably had something to do with all the jocks changing in the changing room, too.”_ Jensen got out the last part rushed because Dean was fighting to reassert himself.

“God damnit, Sam. What the hell were you doing?”

“Trying to establish how much he knew about you, about us,” Sam added the last quickly. “Is Mr. Snuggles really in your bag?”

Dean felt himself grow hot. There was no way he was blushing, not over that stupid bear.

“Dude, you’re blushing! He is in your bag.” And Sam was up and heading for Dean’s duffle at the foot of his bed. Dean was off of the cheap sofa and was grabbing for his bag just as Sam did. Their hands met and Dean looked up. Sam was so close. Close enough to touch if he wanted, almost close enough to kiss. Letting go of Sam and the bag like they were both poison, Dean stepped back. Watching his baby brother dig through his stuff with an abandoned glee that he hadn’t seen in a damn long time, Dean smiled.

Finally Sam whooped, holding Mr. Snuggles up. The fond smile never left Dean’s face as he told his brother to put his damn teddy back in his bag. Sam tucked him back in, still grinning and sat on the end of his bed.

“So, I guess I should let you talk with Jared.”

“Wait. Do you really believe this? That these people, these actors,” Dean spit the word out, “are here to help us? What if they’re not? Why are they taking this so calmly? Is it some kind of trick?” He held up his hand as Sam opened his mouth to answer. “Just think about it. We have no reason to trust them and every reason not to.”

Sam nodded as he leaned back on his hands, exposing his throat in an unknown torture to his brother. Dean watched as Sam’s posture shifted subtly. “Jared?”

 _“Yeah, I guess.”_

“You guess?”

 _“Not exactly at home am I? Not exactly myself. I don’t know how Jen is taking this whole thing so calmly. It’s not supposed to be real. World as myth or not. For christ’s sake, I play Sam on a fucking television program, he is not supposed to be real.”_ Jared kept getting more and more upset.

Dean could see he needed to get Jared calmed down before he would answer any questions. Problem was, he didn’t have a clue how to do it. _Let me._

Dean considered his passenger’s offer briefly. **_Just tell me._**

 _You need to kiss him._

“What?” Dean answered out loud.

 _“What?”_ Jared stopped his panicked talk and looked at Dean. That face, so much like Sam’s yet different in ways that he couldn’t put his finger on. Dean squatted between Jared’s legs as they sprawled off of the bed. He could do this and it wouldn’t be as bad as kissing his brother would be. He tried to convince himself that he needed to be talked into it.

 _“I’m sorry. I just can’t deal. . .this is so weird. . . and Jen, oh god, what if we never leave?”_ Now Jared was beginning to hyperventilate. This would never do. Dean lifted his hand and threaded his fingers through Sam’s, no, Jared’s hair. Jared’s eyes grew wider but his breathing calmed down some.

Leaning in, Dean kissed Jared. For a moment it was just dry and platonic, then something changed and shifted. Jared opened his mouth and his tongue touched Dean’s lips. Dean couldn’t keep Jared and Sam separate in his mind. _Just kiss him._ Jensen told him. Knowing that Jensen would take over if he chickened out made Dean stiffen his resolve.

He applied himself. Licking and biting, tongues meshing and teeth bumping, it was hot and wet and everything he had ever dreamed that kissing Sam would be like. He pulled back from swollen lips. Groaning, he closed his eyes. When he opened them, it still wasn’t Sam he had been kissing and Jared seemed to have everything under control.

“Better?” Dean asked, hiding his disappointment. He grabbed a chair from the table to sit at, flipping it around backwards first.

 _“Thank you.”_

Dean shrugged, trying not to show how much it affected him. “Wanna answer some questions now?”

 _“Sure,”_ Jared said, _“and sorry ‘bout flipping out earlier. It’s just. . .”_

Dean hushed him, just as he would have Sam, with a hand to cover his mouth. “It’s okay, we just need to figure out what is going on. And to that end. . .Who are you, Jared? In your world?”

 _I am a brother. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I have two dogs that I love. I’m an actor on a show where I play Sam Winchester. I am in a committed relationship with my co-star and, for many reasons, we have to keep it secret so I have a really good friend, Sandy, who acts as my girlfriend. There, I’ve told you more about me than anyone except Jensen and Sandy know.”_ Jared’s voice cracked with stress.

“So Jensen. . .”Dean let the question just hang in the air, unfinished. He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer even though he was pretty sure he knew it.

Jared nodded, even though he hadn’t finished the question. _Jensen’s the one I’m with, or I was with before this._ The despair in his voice called out to Dean, he knew that kind of hopelessness. Dean reached out and touched Jared’s knee, like he was Sam, in comfort.

“What do you know about us?”

 _“Almost everything about your lives, with a few exceptions. From what Sam has told me, his visions are clearer though more incapacitating than anything I ever acted. I don’t envy him that. I know more about Sam than you. They had Jensen pegged as Sam before I read, so if he gives you advice about your brother, you might just take it.”_ Jared paused and looked at Dean, his eyes searching for something. Perhaps a hint of Jensen. Dean never knew.

 _“Sam was six months old when his mother was killed the same way his girlfriend would be killed years later. Stuck to the ceiling, belly ripped open, and then they caught on fire. You were four, but you still remember her. Sam, of course, doesn’t or didn’t.”_ Jared paused and looked at Dean for confirmation or something. Dean gave him a brief nod to continue.

 _“Sam had visions of your old home, so you went back there, only to find a poltergeist haunting the house, and there was another spirit too. Y’all had Missouri helping but it was Sam who knew the house wasn’t clean. It was Sam who saw that that girl needed help. And it was Sam to whom your mother’s spirit apologized. Did you ever wonder why, Dean? ‘Cause I can tell you that Sam has, a lot.”_

“Fine, fine, you know about Sam. Now explain to me why you think you are here.”

 _“I’m smart, Dean. But if you want brilliant either listen to Sam or Jensen, both of them are smarter than me. However, I’ll try.”_ Jared took a deep breath and continued. _“Honestly, I would have never in a million years thought that something like this was possible. Jensen, he’s the sci-fi buff. I’m just usually along for the ride.”_ Jared gave a tired laugh.

 _“I figure that this Vitziwhatever needed Jen here to convince you. Let me guess, he hasn’t freaked out once?_ ” Jared looked at Dean for confirmation. When Dean shook his head, Jared muttered, _“Damn him and his level head anyway.”_ Jared looked back down at the floor. _“I think I got drug along so that in case you and Jensen had issues, I could convince Sam of the truth and maybe we could solve this. . .problem.”_

“Why are you so sure it’s demons?”

 _“Well, if the world as myth holds up -- and god help us all, it seems to -- then what you are really fighting, what you have always been fighting, is demons.”_ Jared seemed to hesitate and Dean pushed him.

“Tell me.”

 _“Now, I’m not sure on this, the writers were on strike when we got pulled into this world, but all the signs. . ._ ” now Jared was choking and Dean hit him on the back the same as he had Sam.

Then Sam was there and wasn’t choking. He sat and looked at Dean with an unreadable expression on his face.

“You kissed me.”

“Technically I kissed Jared.”

“Yeah, but Jared is me. Him and Jensen are lovers, did he tell you that?”

Dean stood up. What was it that Jared had been going to say? It had been a long fucking day and they really hadn’t been up for that long. “All talked out, Sam,” Dean told his brother as he stumbled to his bed. “Later.” Much later, he hoped, as he slid his boots off and climbed into bed.

“What about food?” Sam asked, sounding a bit surprised.

“Later,” Dean murmured and pulled the comforter up over him and quickly fell asleep.

********  
Sam flopped down on the cheap sofa. His head was starting to hurt again. He had had to stop Jared from talking about who may or may not be his real father. He wasn’t prepared to have his brother look at him like he was something evil. Reaching into the duffle on the floor, Sam pulled out his journal. Knowing that Dean thought it was like a ‘diary’ and therefore wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole, Sam kept all of his records of oddities in it. It was kind of like dad’s journal only more personal.

The first entry was just before Jess died.

 _Brand new dream journal, at least that’s what Jess called it when she gave it to me. She knows I’ve been waking up with nightmares and says that writing them down will help them go away since I won’t talk about them with her._

 _How the hell am I supposed to tell her that every night I dream of her bursting into flames? Sometimes she calls my name, sometimes she’s already dead. The one last night was the worst. Even after everything I’ve been through with Dean and Dad, everything I’ve seen, I woke up and headed for the bathroom to vomit the chicken chow mien that we had for dinner into the toilet._

 _Let me start at the beginning. . . I walk through the empty apartment calling for Jess, thinking she’s playing a game of hide and seek. Finally I make it to our bedroom and I look everywhere, the closet, under the bed. I give up and lay down on my back. There is a warm drip on my forehead and I twitch, another one, I twitch again. Finally I open my eyes and I see Jess._

 _Oh, god, my Jess is stuck to the ceiling somehow. I stand on the bed, trying to get her down and she moans; she’s still alive. Then her eyes pop open and they are completely black. “Save me, Sam.”_

 _Then the cut on her belly that had been bleeding on me bursts open and her insides fall out. Blood and intestines and other internal organs lay everywhere._

 _“Save me,” she says again and then bursts into flame, fire rolling across the ceiling. And I watch her burn and the whole time she screams my name._

 _Yeah so how am I supposed to tell her about something like that?_

Sam never forgot that dream, even though it didn’t quite play out like that in real life, it was close enough to some of his others that he tried to keep track of his dreams. Then the visions had started. He had nearly pissed himself the first time one of them came true. It had been with the whole mess of their old house and Mom. It hurt still to think about.

Never doubting that his mother loved him, it was still different to see her, to hear her. To feel her love for him and Dean. But his mother had also planted the first seeds of doubt in his mind. That perhaps he was more than John Winchester’s son. And from the looks that Sam sometimes had caught his dad giving him, John sometimes wondered the same thing. But when push came to shove, they were Winchesters first and foremost.

All of them -- Dad, Dean and him -- had used his visions to help with hunting. But what Sam never told Dad was that as often as he had visions of someone in trouble, he had visions of Dean and him doing things that brothers never should. He was really freaked out by Dean kissing him, or Jared. Feeling like the whole situation was being manipulated, either by those demons or by Vitzilopuchtl, Sam was pretty sure that Dean had somehow kissed him against his will.

 _Did you think that he might want to?_ the thing that called itself Jared in his head spoke up.

Sam snorted. **_Dean? Do you know Dean at all? He couldn’t be more heterosexual._**

 _Maybe Dean is more than you think he is. Maybe he’s overcompensating for the fact that what he wants he can never have,_ Jared said.

 _  
**If you are going to talk like that you can just shut the fuck up. Damnit, Dean doesn’t want me, though god knows I’ve dreamt about us together often enough. If it were true. . .**   
_

_He’d have you bent over the bed, fucking you into oblivion._ Jared supplied the obvious ending.

Sam gave a sigh. _**Yeah, something like that.**_ Then Sam had a vision, but this one was different, more like a memory.

 _He stumbled into a small trailer, laughing, and dodged left, reaching for a large bowl of gummy worms. Jensen walked in after him._

 _“C’mon, Jay, share.”_

 _“Mine,” he said and held the bowl up out of reach._

 _“Come on, man, we only got a half an hour. Just think, Jared, I could blow you, you could blow me. . .”_

 _“You just want my candy,” he laughed and then stopped as Jensen dropped to his knees. “Dude, the door.” Watching as Jensen turned and locked the door, Jared lowered the bowl of candy and Jensen snagged a gummy with a grin and then went to work on Jared’s pants._

 _Jensen freed his cock and was licking it like it was a lollypop. Jared’s eyes rolled back up into his head. “Jen,” it was a whine._

 _Finally taking pity on him, Jensen sucked his cock into his mouth. Jared’s knees almost buckled. Licking up the underside of his prick and then sucking it down to the base, Jared looked down and saw his cock disappear into Jensen’s mouth like magic, Jensen’s throat was a marvel of the western world. He backed off of the deep throating, swallowing once and making Jared’s hips buck. “God,” Jared hissed._

 _Those green eyes looking up at him with his lips, god those beautiful lips, wrapped around Jared’s cock, and Jared was ready to come. Jensen seemed to know it, perhaps a look in Jared’s eye, and he went to work sucking and licking at the head and then taking him all the way in again. “Shhhh. . .Jensssssennnn,” was all the warning that Jared could give before coming. Jensen swallowed it all._

 _Jensen stood up and pushed Jared against the wall of the trailer, rocking it a little. Pulling Jared’s head down, he kissed him, sharing the flavor with Jared. “Now it’s my turn, candy boy,” Jensen whispered into Jared’s mouth._

 _Jared grinned. As far as he was concerned, Jensen was a far better treat. He jerked his pants up and buttoned them. With a feral grin on his face, he went after Jensen who suddenly backed away from him. He hit the edge of the sofa and Jared gave him a small push. Falling to the floor between Jensen’s knees, he very slowly rubbed his hand across Jen’s denim-encased cock._

 _“Jay.” Now Jensen was the one whining. Jared smiled and undid Jensen’s jeans, moving so that he could take them down and off one leg. Running his hands up Jensen’s thighs, Jared wrapped his hand around Jen’s dick. Jared stuck his tongue out and licked the weeping slit at the tip. Jensen groaned and tried to push up into Jared’s mouth but Jared’s hand on his hip stopped him._

 _Sucking the tip in then backing off, Jared looked up at Jensen. His head was thrown back, his hand clenching the throw pillow. It was good to know that he could get to him so quickly. He sucked Jen’s cock back into his mouth. Trying to take his entire length into his mouth, he gagged before he got down to the base, backing off and moving his hand in time with his mouth he sucked and licked on his cock. Jared was determined, he could do this. He relaxed his throat and, opening it as much as he could, he eased down Jen’s length._

 _Hands fisted in his hair as he got to the base, Jen didn’t try to hold him down, it was like he was trying to hold onto himself. Jared backed off sucking and gagging a little, covering Jen’s cock with saliva. Jared sucked him back down and this time, he didn’t gag but a little bit and then Jensen was calling out his name and Jared felt the cock pulse in his mouth and throat. Jared pulled back, he wasn’t sure why but Jensen had the best tasting come and Jared didn’t want to miss out on tasting it. The last of Jensen’s orgasm filled his mouth, Jared swallowed with relish. Sucking gently to get the last bit out, Jared let Jen’s cock go with a pop._

 _Just then someone knocked on the door. “Five minutes guys.”_

Sam found himself back in his own head, or memory, or whatever. **_What the fuck was that?_**

 _Come on, Sam, you’re smarter than that. Think, I’m sure it will come to you._ Sam was pretty sure he didn’t need sarcasm from his invisible passenger. He knew what he had seen, he just wasn’t sure why Jared had wanted him to see it. Unless it was to make him horny? Reaching down, he adjusted his now hard cock in his pants. The world as a myth thing was really weird, on some of the big stuff. . .like Dean and him being in the car crash that killed Dad, it had it wrong. But the minutia of stuff, like the freckle on the top of his cock was the same on Jared’s, it was just bizarre.

So Jared and Jensen got it on, he had already figured that. Maybe Jared was trying to tell him that Jensen and Dean weren’t so different. Dean had kissed Jared after all. Sam needed to think in peace but that wasn’t going to happen.

He had been having dreams for weeks of what he would have sworn was he and Dean fucking, but thinking back he was pretty sure they had been dreams of Jared and Jensen. He had thought he was going crazy. He knew, on some subliminal level that he had always been attracted to Dean, at least as soon as he was old enough to notice those things.

Having been obvious enough that Dad had noticed, he had gotten a talking to. Dean remained oblivious, fucking nearly everything in a skirt that tripped him up. Once Sam had had this fantasy where he was wearing a skirt and Dean didn’t recognize him. . . yeah that one had kept him in masturbation heaven for months. So, Sam had backed off, Dad had actually pushed him to go to college and had said he was proud when Sam had won a full ride, to Stanford no less. Sam always knew that Dad was relieved that Dean wouldn’t be around him anymore.

He and Dad had made their peace, at least as much as one can when you never know when you might die. Sam had forgiven his father, for pushing him out and Dean for not noticing, anything, ever. Things had been getting weirder in the last few months and Sam wondered if Jared was right, it was demons. He needed to get word to Ash and let that man work his magic. If anyone could make connections between events and hauntings and weather and everything, it would be that man.

 _Good idea. Call Ash._

 _ **Thank you, Mr. Obvious,**_ Sam snarked to the voice in his head. Meanwhile, he was reaching for his phone.

Two hours later, Sam sat with a freshly delivered pizza. Ash had all the information that Sam did and even a little that Jared did, though Jared’s stuff had a caveat that Sam had heard something, not that it was true.

Dean stirred in bed when he had opened the pizza box. Sam pretended not to notice that Dean froze for a long moment as he remembered what he had done.

“Pizza’s here,” he said just to say something.

“Who were you talking to?” Dean asked hesitantly.

“Ash, I put him on the demon thing. . . if anyone can see a pattern, it’ll be him.”

Dean made approving noises as he got up. There was so much that they did that both of them took for granted. Sam, looking at Dean through the filter of Jared, felt like he was looking at his brother for the first time. Tall with short brown hair, those green eyes that everyone always said were like mom’s, his lean torso and that tight stomach that he knew was under Dean’s shirt. Desire swirled in his gut and for the first time in a long long time Sam didn’t fight it.

There was no nausea or headache, just desire. At least until Sam met Dean’s eyes. They were haunted and Sam suddenly felt guilty for making his brother uncomfortable. Looking away, he dug in the pizza box for the largest slice.

“Hands off, dude. That’s mine,” Dean said lightly if a bit forced.

Sam gave him a half smile for trying and pulled out the piece next to it.

“That’s what I thought.” Dean plopped next to him and grabbed the slice. “Doud agh say gehn?”

“Dean, not with your mouth full. That’s so gross.”

Dean swallowed. “Sam, you’re such a girl. I said, did Ash say when he would get back to us.”

“Couple of days, it’s a huge search and he needs time to look it all over. But he did say there was a Naiad nearby.

“Any missing people?”

“Yeah, five. All young teen males. Probably the only virgins she could find,” Sam said and Dean nodded, his mouth full of pizza again. The banishing spell for Naiads worked, the problem was that they were immortal and just moved on, but Sam couldn’t help that. He just hoped this one spent a few hundred years at the bottom of the ocean.

The Naiads had determined that having sex with virgins was the only way for them to procreate. Seductively they would lure virgins to their ‘nest’ and they would have sex. Then they no longer had the virgin that they needed and he would be discarded, as in killed. Then if they didn’t get pregnant they would try again, and again.

Five males, she might be pregnant now. But she couldn’t just keep doing this if she wasn’t.

Dean seemed determined to act as if nothing had happened, so they acted as if nothing had happened. Dean threw his duffle into the back seat and slid into the driver’s seat. Watching him, Sam tossed his bag into the back too. It was going to be a long drive. Jared asked him a question he didn’t know the answer to, so he asked Dean.

Turned out Dean didn’t know the answer either but Jensen did. The way Dean told it while they drove to Great Plains State park, it had been Jensen who had woken in the cave, in the dark with one small red flashlight and hadn’t freaked. Managing to get Sam or who he thought was Jared up, they had slowly made their way to the surface. Once outside, Jensen had realized something was very wrong.

He found the Impala, and how strange was that? Loaded who he thought was Jared into it and then finding a cell phone, but not his, he drove and drove and drove until just outside Burns Flat, Oklahoma, he got a signal. He tried Eric, no such number. He tried his agent, no such number. Pulling into the parking lot of a motel, and before he made his next call he checked him and Jared in as Tom and Mike Plowaski, a credit card he had found in his wallet.

Sam couldn’t help but admire Jensen. He was pretty sure that in a similar situation he would have just panicked and not done anything helpful at all. _Me, too._ his invisible guest agreed.

Jensen maneuvered who he thought was Jared into one of the beds. Sitting on the other one, they had only had two singles, and in Oklahoma Jensen knew better than to advertise that he and Jared were together. He pulled the phone out and dialed home, his mom’s number that hadn’t changed in thirty years, no such number. By the time he hit the end call button his headache, that had been a loud roar ever since he had woken up, decided to get even louder. Jen had curled up on the bed and actually prayed for someone to come and chop his head off. He figured he fell asleep, must have, because the next thing Dean was waking up with the headache and he and Jared were along for the ride.

So they pulled into the Great Plains State Park, with all of the unsaid words almost crowding them out of the car. The park was nearly deserted with ‘have you seen’ pictures posted conspicuously on most of the buildings that Sam could see. It was a little hike to the lake, so Sam got the bag he had packed with the supplies for the banishment.

Sam and Dean walked down the water’s edge. They were in no danger, not being virgins, but as soon as she knew what they were doing they would be. Sam warned Dean and tossed a handful of salt into the lake. Naiads were born in the ocean. The salt in the water would draw her like a bee to honey. She stood up, right in front of him.

Cocking her head this way and that, she examined him. “Sam?” she asked.

Sam exchanged looks with Dean. Sam shrugged. Dean shrugged. So Sam looked back at the Naiad before him and nodded. He had the Greek words for the banishment ready on his tongue.

Then she did something completely unexpected. She bowed. Sam’s eyes couldn’t possibly have got any wider. He chanced a quick look at Dean, who was watching the Naiad, eyes narrowed. Sam looked back but she was still bowing.

“What?”

“Hail, the new lord. I am the first to greet you. As such, I ask of you a boon.” She spoke, not looking up.

 _“What boon?”_ Jared asked and Sam wanted to strangle him. You don’t talk to them, you get rid of them.

“Spare me and my sisters. Please, we would never interfere with you and yours.”

 ** _What do you think you are doing?_** Sam asked Jared.

 _Trying to get out of this without fighting. Besides, she’s right. She is the first to greet you, isn’t she?_

 **  
_I suppose so. Lord of what? No. No. No. No. No! I am not the next lord of hell!_   
**

_Doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t. If she’s willing to leave because she believes it then let her. Besides, you’re not the next lord of hell, you’re just supposed to be a leader in its army. Okay, the leader of its army,_ Jared told Sam. _Damnit, just tell her that you agree, but that she must ask before she or any of her sisters take any more humans._

 **_Fine, but you had better be right._ **

“I agree. Under the condition that you and your sisters ask me before taking any more humans. And you need to tell me if any of ‘mine’ are around, if it is possible,” Sam told her and Dean made a kind of noise behind him. Sam did not take his eyes off of the Naiad. She bowed lower.

“It is agreed, my lord.”

“It is agreed,” Sam said, his voice tight. What the hell had he just done? _**What the hell have I just done?**_

“What the hell did you just do, Sam?” Dean asked as soon as the Naiad was gone, melting back into the water “We don’t talk with them, we get rid of them.” His eyes narrowed at Sam. “Or is this some brilliant idea of Jared’s?”

Sam shrugged. “She’s gone and won’t bother these people any more, same as if we had banished her.”

Dean stalked up to Sam. “Don’t you realize what you have done? You have made a binding deal with an immortal.” Dean got in Sam’s face. “You put your soul in danger, for what? For a little notice, for a little protection. You. Are. An. Idiot.” Dean said the words slowly and clearly, so close that Sam could feel his breath on his lips.

Sam pushed Dean back. The moment he did it, he knew it was a mistake. _Bad move,_ his new inner voice told him as Dean knocked him flat with a roundhouse. Landing in the water, Sam surged to his feet and tackled his brother. Using his weight and height as an advantage, Sam wrestled Dean onto his back. Dean kept trying to buck him off but was unsuccessful.

Slamming his head against the shoreline, Sam yelled at Dean. “I am trying my fucking best.”

Suddenly Dean lay still. Sam looked at him, afraid he had broken something. Dean just lay there and looked up at Sam with an unreadable expression on his face. “I know you are, Sammy.”

Sam tried to catch his breath and release his brother. Before he could get off of him, though, he was flipped onto his back. Dean on top of him, his face inches from Sam’s, water dripping off of his hair and onto his brothers. Dean stared at Sam, a fire in his gaze. Lips just a breath away, Sam could feel the warmth of Dean’s breath hit his mouth. Unconsciously, he licked his lips and his tongue touched Dean’s lips.

He gave up. Sam groaned and moved up, lips touching. Threading his hand through Dean’s hair, Sam pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Lake water and the taste of Dean mingling on his tongue, Sam drank him in. Dean pushed him back until his head was against the shoreline water lapping around his ears.

Dean seemed to come to his senses. He pulled back. “No.”

Sam’s face fell. Shit, he had forced his brother to do something that he didn’t want to. Dean was having one of those internal arguments with Jensen, at least so it appeared. Suddenly there were words being whispered in his ears.

“He is one of yours. Both of them are yours. You can trust. Both of you can trust.”

Sam shivered and it was as if his body realized that it was cold and wet and he couldn’t stop. Dean was off of him in a moment and held his hand out to help Sam up.

“S.s..s.s.sorry,” Sam said as he got to his feet.

“I’m sorry, Sammy. Let’s get back to the car,” Dean said and Sam just nodded. Dean tossed Sam his duffle out of the back seat and then grabbed his.

Sam self-consciously stripped and then quickly pulled on his dry sweats and shirt. He hadn’t just kissed his brother. He hadn’t just kissed his brother and his brother hadn’t just kissed him back. It didn’t matter how much his lips throbbed as he slid into the Impala. He had wanted it for so long, but it was obvious that Dean thought it was a mistake so therefore it hadn’t happened. It hadn’t.

He looked at Dean. Who was avoiding looking at him but there was a small twitch in his cheek and his lips were red and swollen. Damn. What had he just ruined?

 _Nothing. Remember, he kissed you back._ Jared told him. _Give him some time. Remember, he kissed both of us. I’d bet he thought of you when he kissed me._ Jared was encouraging.

What the hell had happened to him that in the last couple of days he had actually decided that thinking about Dean in **that** way was suddenly acceptable. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of Dean in **that** way before, it was just that Sam was suddenly seeing it as a realistic choice. If he were honest with himself, his only choice.

But he knew Dean, or at least he thought he did. Dean had never given him any signs that he felt the same way about him, and Sam had been looking for them. He ran his eyes over his brother, and thought about the body that was underneath the clothes. Dean’s eyes flicked toward him and Sam suddenly realized why staring at his brother was such a bad idea. He turned his body towards the door, hoping that the ever observant Dean had missed his sweat pants tenting around his hard on. _**This is your fault.**_

 _Not my body, not my thoughts, not my reaction. Though he is sexy in a different way than Jensen is, or was, I guess I should say._

 _ **You keep your thoughts off of my brother!**_ Even Sam was a bit surprised at how possessive he felt of Dean.

 _Fine, I’ll just think about Jen, then._ Jared said a bit smugly in his head. Then Sam was overwhelmed with a memory of Jared and Jensen.

 _Jared was kissing Jensen. Licking and biting and sucking on those perfect lips. Jensen groaned as Jared pulled at his lower lip. God, it had been too long. Jensen had spent the summer working on his film and Jared had worked on that TV special. It had been two months since they had been together and Jared wasn’t going to waste any time with talking._

 _Jensen slowly backed up down the hall. He hit their bedroom door without tripping over the dogs, which made him stop and look around._

 _“They’re with Sandy. She knew I wanted you all to myself.” Jared read his mind, and turned the doorknob behind him._

 _“That’s. . .” was all Jensen got out before Jared was on him. There would be time later for a long slow fuck in the shower. But right now, right now Jared wanted it hard and fast. He was pulling at Jensen's shirt, popping buttons and pulling his wife beater out of his pants._

 _“You always wear too much when you travel,” Jared complained as he finally got Jen’s shirts off. He ran a hand over his stomach and his chest, fingers trailing up to his neck, which Jensen bared so nicely for him. Leaning down, Jared attacked. He bit down on the pulse point on Jensen’s neck, feeling his heart beat. Jensen’s body pushed against his as he moaned Jared’s name._

 _Releasing him with a lovely love bite purpling on his neck, Jared pulled his t shirt off and found himself the object of Jensen’s exploration. Suddenly he was pushed backwards onto the bed. Jeans were stripped and underwear lost in the mess as they got naked as quickly as they could. Then Jensen was on him. Reaching under his pillow for the lube._

 _“Fuck me, Jen,” Jared said as he looked into Jensen’s deep green eyes._

 _“You wish,” Jensen said as he lubed up his cock and placed it against Jared’s entrance, “is my command.” He pushed home slowly, inch by inch. It would be the last slow thing they did. Pulling back almost completely, Jensen slammed his cock into Jared. “You prepared yourself.” It was a statement not a question._

 _“I wanted to be ready for you,” Jared told him and then gasped as Jensen’s cock brushed across his prostate._

 _Jensen pulled out with a pop. He slapped Jared on the ass and told him to get on his knees. Before he had finished speaking, Jared was on his hands and knees, his ass presented to Jensen like a gift._

 _Feeling fingers gripping his hips, Jared knew he would have bruises and he moaned. Jensen just gripped him tighter and slid his cock back into Jared’s hole. Then they were fucking so hard that Jared was sure they were going to break his bed in two. Twap twap went the sound of Jensen slamming into his ass. Jared moaned and Jensen reached around and wrapped his hand around Jared’s cock. One, two pulls and Jared was coming and from the sudden stillness behind him, Jen was coming too._

 _They rolled over, spooning. Jensen’s chest to Jared’s back and slowly Jensen's cock softened and slid out. Jared almost wished that they could stay connected forever._

Sam couldn’t breathe. Longing, desire, and envy wrapped around his central nervous system and he couldn’t focus enough to catch his breath. Jared had what he had wanted for so long that he had forgotten a time when Dean and longing weren’t synonymous.

“Sam?” Dean’s voice cut through the fog he was in. Sam turned and looked at his brother, desire and longing still on his mind. It must have been on his face too because there was a brief answering flame in Dean’s eyes. “You okay?”

Sam shook his head. He wasn’t okay; he hadn’t been for a long time. It was just that finally he was willing to admit it.

“Do I need to pull over?” Dean asked and Sam realized that they were still a ways out from Burns Flat.

“No, I just need to,” Sam paused, looked out the window, and saw a roadside diner, “eat. Yeah, I’m hungry.” Sam avoided looking at Dean as Dean slowed down and pulled into the parking lot. Sam was out of the car almost before it stopped.

 _Sam, wait._ Jared said.

Sam slammed the door to the diner open. _**I think I have had enough fucking help from you. Just shut up and leave me alone!**_ People turned to look at him. Great.

Sam grabbed a booth in the corner where he could see the rest of the diner. A short blonde waitress came up to ask him what he wanted.

 _”Cristos,”_ Jared whispered and Sam watched as the woman’s gaze turned black. Damn it. Demon. Just what he needed. She then gave him a crooked little smile before she threw back her head and screamed. Everyone in the place stood up. Sam’s gaze flicking from one face to another, hoping for some help. He had trouble believing that everyone in the place was possessed. Well today just wasn’t his lucky day.

The bell over the door rang as Dean stepped in. “Sammy, we got to go. I sure hope you didn’t order.” Dean walked as if he hadn’t noticed everyone on their feet staring at Sam. “How many times do I have to tell you, bathroom only. I’m sorry, Miss,” Dean looked at the petite waitress’s name tag, “Jolene. My brother’s a little touched sometimes, hope he wasn’t a bother. Come on, Sammy.” Dean tugged on his arm.

Sam followed and they almost made it outside when some guy’s arm came up to stop them. “Not so fast, boys. We need to talk to our supposed heir, here.”

Dean looked at Sam, who stared back at Dean in horror. Dean laughed and reached into his jacket. He sprayed holy water all over the guy who was stopping them. The guy dropped screaming to the ground, Dean grabbed Sam who was just staring and pulled him out the door.

Neither said a word as Dean tore out of the parking lot and back onto the highway. Twenty minutes later, when they were pretty sure they weren’t being pursued, Dean reached over and smacked Sam.

******

Jensen had a bad feeling when Sam got out of the car and it just got worse as he watched what was happening inside. _Dean, we need to get in there._ He watched everyone in the place stand up.

“Oh fuck,” Dean said and got out of the Impala.

 _Stop, the holy water._ Jensen was glad when Dean immediately got what he meant and snagged it from the trunk. He walked into the diner and with a little trouble and some thrown holy water got Sam out.

Jensen could believe that the ‘world as myth’ was real. Obviously he had no choice. It was either that or he was insane and had somehow dragged Jared into his delusion… or he was just Dean’s delusion. That didn’t feel right. How could he remember his past, his family, Jared? How could all of that be made up by Dean? Not possible so that meant he was real and he needed to find a way home.

The dragon had brought them here to help Sam and Dean with something. They had already told them about the demons and they hadn’t left so there must be something more. Having gone over the memory of Dean’s encounter, all Jensen could think of was that he and Jared were somehow supposed to convince Dean and Sam that they were stronger together.

 ** _Of course we are,_** Dean said to Jensen and Jensen realized he hadn’t been keeping his thoughts to himself, so to speak.

Maybe this was a good time to talk to Dean about it. _I meant together together._ He could sense Dean’s confusion. _Okay, let’s try to reason this out. Jared and I, we are a couple. I love him, he loves me, at least so he says. Anyway, so there is this couple, us, in a different universe than this one. That know about the both of you, hell, they play the both of you so they spend a lot of time in ‘Sam and Dean’ space. So, there is this creature here, and it knows something that you don’t. It knows about the demons, it knows about Sammy. . ._

 _  
**No one calls him Sammy but. . .**   
_

_You._ Jensen interrupted him. _I know,_ he continued, _trust me, I know._ Jensen was happy that at least Dean was listening. _It knows about Sam, and somehow it knows about me and Jared. It knew we were a couple even though we haven’t told hardly anyone in our world. I think,_ Jensen stopped. This was the point that could make or break this whole thing. _I think, we’re supposed to help you._

 ** _Help us how?_** Jensen could feel Dean’s exasperation.

 _Be together,_ Jensen told him. If he could have, Jensen would have been holding his breath.

 _  
**Is that what Jared is telling Sam? Is that why Sam kissed me? Why he’s been giving me those looks? You twisted mother fuckers are playing with us!**   
_

_Dean, I know why you’re so angry. It’s your feelings that you are so afraid of._

 ** _Don’t tell me. . ._** Dean started but Jensen interrupted him.

 _Please. Don’t lie to me, you can’t. I’m here. I see it all clearer than you do. Sam was fifteen the first time you thought about him that way, because you came home and found him jacking off. Remember?_

Dean ignored him.

Jensen felt Dean look and make sure that those guys hadn’t followed them then he reached over and smacked Sam on the back of the head.

“What was that for?” Sam asked.

“I will say this one more time today, listen carefully. You. Are. An. Idiot. And your passenger is obviously an idiot too. What were you doing in there, Sam? Demons. Fuck, Sam. Demons. What have we got mixed up in?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I’m kinda having a problem wrapping my mind around it too. Why didn’t dad figure it out? If he did. . .” Sam stopped as if he had figured out something and Dean knew what he was thinking.

“You are not something evil, Sammy.”

“But I could be, Dean, you don’t know,” Sam said.

“Don’t know what?”

“That I fight myself or something inside of me that wants to. . .destroy,” Sam whispered. “Sometimes I feel like I’m losing, Dean. Like I have nothing to hold on to.”

“You can hold on to me,” Dean offered and Jensen mentally coughed in disbelief, then he felt bad, the look that Sam gave Dean broke his heart. Hopeful and distant at the same time.

“Really, Dean? I don’t think you mean that.”

Dean drove into the parking lot of the motel. “Sandwiches for dinner,” he said. Sam snorted and opened his door.

“And Sam,” Dean said as he got out and shut his door. “I said it. I meant it.” Walking to the door, he unlocked it and entered.

That night, Sam was sleeping and Dean settled in a chair to watch his brother and to have a conversation with Jensen.

 ** _How certain are you?_** Jensen could feel Dean’s hesitation. It was as if what Sam had said shook something loose inside him.

 _About what?_ Jensen asked. _About you being attracted to Sam? Or about why Jared and I are here? About the demons? What?_

 _**All of it, I suppose. No, not the Sam stuff. What about why you’re here?** _

_Dean, the Sam stuff, as you put it, is part of why we’re here. But,_ Jensen offered up something palatable to Dean, _we are also here about the demons. I cannot believe that you are Dean Winchester yet you know next to nothing about demons._

 _ **Tell me about the demons and Sam. . .what is going on. You know, or at least you know more than I do,**_ Dean reluctantly admitted.

 _Honestly, I’m not sure. They seem to think him some sort of heir apparent._

 **_For who?_ **

_In this world, I’m not positive. But in the story back home, he was the heir of the Yellow Eyed Demon._

 **_What? Why? How?_ **

_I don’t know how. I’ve got my suspicions but no evidence, not really. But look at what happened today. That Naiad knew something and, while you can’t trust a demon, sometimes they tell the truth… and at that diner they were, odd._

 ** _Demons odd, I’ll have to remember that._** Dean told him. _**Let’s say, that I accept that Sam is special. Would it be enough to get you out of my head?**_

 _I don’t think so. I think we are also here about the other. . ._ Jensen trailed off, not wanting to upset Dean but unable to lie to him.

 _“Jen,”_ Sam, or rather Jared, called out from the bed. Dean and Jensen watched as he became more and more restless. Suddenly he sat up, eyes open. He looked around the room almost blindly until his eyes landed on Dean. _“Jen, thank god. I had the worst fucking dream of my life.”_

 _You gonna let me handle this?_ Jensen was hoping that Dean would just give in this one time.

 _ **No fucking way.**_ Dean wasn’t about to give up control of himself.

 _You hurt him and I swear I will make you miserable until the day we die._ Jensen wasn’t one for making random threats but Jared was his and he was Jared’s and if Dean somehow hurt him, Jensen would make sure he regretted it, forever if need be.

“Jared?” Dean said gently, belying his sharp tone with Jensen.

Something must have come out in Dean’s tone because Jared was suddenly more focused and looking closely at Dean. He seemed to collapse in on himself. Jensen had never seen anyone able to do it like Jared could.

 _“It wasn’t a dream, was it?”_ The absolute fatality in Jared’s voice seemed to get to Dean.

 _ **Okay, you can talk to him.**_ Dean seemed as surprised by his concession as Jensen was. Then Dean did something and Jensen was in control.

 _“No, Jay, it wasn’t.”_

Jared cocked his head. “ _Jensen?_ ” His voice was vaguely hopeful.

Nodding, Jensen wasn’t surprised when his arms were suddenly full of his boyfriend. Jared clutched at Jensen like he was drowning and Jensen was the only thing saving him. “ _Shhh,_ ” Jensen said as he wrapped his arms around Jared and slowly rocked them both.

“ _But, but,_ ” Jared said into his shirt.

“ _I know. I know_.”

Jared looked up at him with tears in his eyes. “ _What if we never?_ ”

 _“We will. We are.”_

 _“But Jen. . .”_

 _“Jared, we will. I promise. We will get home. If I have to find this lizard/-dragon thing and make him send us back, we will.”_

Jared nodded slowly. Jensen realized how much he had missed this. Missed holding Jared, Jared holding him. His arms tightened around Jared and the younger man looked at him. Jared seemed to realize that they were together, here, now. They both leaned in and kissed. Mouths open, tongues dancing in their familiar give and take.

Then it changed, Jared became more hesitant than he had been in a long time. Jensen pulled back and tried to stifle his stab of disappointment. Sam, he had been kissing Sam. Sam licked his lips and gave Jensen a sad smile as if he understood Jensen’s sadness. Dean once again emerged and Jensen let himself be pushed aside.

Dean moved back from Sam and Jensen knew he tried to ignore the hurt look on his brother’s face. He cleared his throat and Sam held his hand up to stop Dean from speaking.

“We have to find a way to send them home,” Sam said. “I can’t, I won’t be responsible for keeping them apart. God, Dean, can’t you feel how much they need each other? How much they love each other?”

Dean didn’t even wonder how Sam knew it was him again, though Jensen did. “We will,” Dean echoed Jensen. He moved away from his brother. “When did Ash say he would call?”

“As soon as he had news,” Sam replied just as his phone rang. Their eyes met and Sam looked down at his phone. Jensen just knew it was Ash.

“Hey, Ash. What? Where? We’re in Oklahoma, Dude. Can’t you meet us? Great, where?” Sam dug out a map and was checking it over. “Hey, how about that place in Kansas where Dad and Bobby had that great corn they always talk about… it was in ’71 or ’70 and you can never get them to shut up about it. Okay, 1:35 it is, see you there tomorrow, Ash.”

Dean looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow. “He thought the line was being bugged. We just agreed to meet in Salina, Kansas off of 135 and Interstate 70. In,” he stopped and looked at his watch. “Five hours, so we should get going.”

Dean threw his stuff in his duffle and Jensen thought it was cute how he made sure his teddy was securely stored at the bottom. Sam and Dean set up a quick ritual that Jensen didn’t know but, whatever it was, he understood it was supposed to clear the room of their presence. Sam burnt a little white sage and some pine, making sure that it went around both of them and Jensen watched as both Dean and Sam inhaled the smoke.

They had never done anything like this. _Why did you do that?_

For once Dean answered without his attitude. _**Dad figured it all out. Once he was tracked through five states by a witch who thought he had killed her sister. Once they got straightened out, dad had tried to save her sister but he had been too slow. Anyway, she showed him this,**_ Dean nodded to Sam who was making sure that the doorways and windows had been covered in the smoke. _**It is a cleansing ritual. Sam changed the ingredients a bit, but it has worked. Even the things we hunt can’t track us after we do this, unless we screw up and leave something behind.**_ Dean finished explaining as Sam finished what he was doing.

The brothers looked at one another and in mirror image they grabbed their bags and headed out the door. Sam shut it quickly behind him, leaving most of the smoke inside. The boys got into the Impala and Dean headed out of town. It was two in the morning; they would be getting to Salina about sunrise.

“I’ve been thinking,” Sam said and Dean and Jensen both flinched though one was purely psychological. The worst things usually happened after someone said, ‘I’ve been thinking.’

Sighing, Dean glanced at Sam. In the darkness, only being lit up by the occasional street light, Dean couldn’t read his expression, Jensen could tell by the feelings. “’kay, and?” Dean said after a bit.

“World as myth could mean that someone is writing this right now.”

Jensen hadn’t considered it, but it was true, he supposed. But again, he had already come to terms with Sam and Dean being real yet fictional, why should he be any different. _Doesn’t matter, what is real is real. The author has no more control over the story than we do._ Jensen told Dean.

 _ **What does that mean? If someone is writing this then they know the outcome… they have to.**_ Dean was certain.

 _No, they don’t. I’ve spent enough time around writers to know that the characters can take on a life of their own, things surprise them, characters die or live all seemingly random when it is more like self determination on the part of the characters._ Jensen told him. It was true, how many times had he had the feeling that ‘Dean’ wouldn’t do something or say something and he would talk with the writer and usually they would agree, then say that they had started to write it differently the first time.

He knew one thing, he would be going home. Author or not, lizard or not, he had promised Jared.

Dean talked about what Jensen had shared with him and Sam listened, not raising one objection. Which truly surprised Jensen. But then again, he saw as they crossed into Kansas, it was an ungodly hour in the morning.

“Sleep, Sam,” Dean said.

*********  
Jared knew the moment Sam fell asleep. Having been an unwelcomed guest in Sam’s body, Jared wiggled his toes. Moving slowly enough that he didn’t wake Sam yet still managing to roll so that if he opened his eyes he could see Jensen -- well, Dean -- but in the darkness of the Impala, Jared could pretend.

The miles and the hours went by. Sam started to wake up as Dean slowed the car, getting ready to get off the interstate. Jared retreated to the corner of Sam’s head that he called his.

“Where do we get off?” Dean asked and Jared snickered.

“Second exit. The first Denny’s you come to,” Sam told him. _**What in the hell is so funny?**_ Apparently Jared wasn’t as quiet as he thought.

 _Just trying to find some humor in the moment,_ Jared told Sam. _Sorry, I always seem to revert to some kind of twelve year old with a dirty mind when I’m under stress._

 _  
**What?**   
_

_Please. Where do we get off? Anywhere works for me._ Jared snickered and Sam snorted, which got him a look from Dean.

Sam waved his hands. Jared knew he wasn’t going to tell Dean. They pulled off the road and into the parking lot of Denny’s. Jared had always wondered what Ash would drive. A late model Ford hadn’t been on his list, he thought, as Ash stepped out of the dark blue car.

The similarities between Ash and Chad, the guy who played Ash like he and Jensen played Sam and Dean was uncanny. Ash had Chad’s walk down or Chad had nailed Ash’s from the beginning. Ash strolled unconcerned up to the Impala. Handing Dean a folder, he glanced around to see if anyone was nearby.

“What have you guys gotten into? It’s all there, weather patterns, crop failures, deaths, disappearances of people who were born the same day as Sammy here, family deaths, fire.” He pointed at the file. “Something big is coming; this mess has your dad’s name written all over it. He was always looking for this. How did you guys come up with this now?”

“We just got a head’s up from some people,” Dean said.

“No one else has even spotted this. They must be trying to stay under the radar. You guys take it easy, if whatever you are hunting knows, you are in danger. Shit, for that matter so am I.” Ash glanced around again. “Stay safe, Ellen ‘ll kick my ass if anything happens to you.”

Sam leaned across Dean to talk to Ash. “Tell Ellen to be careful, too.”

Ash nodded. “Already have. Later.” He gave a half wave and headed back to the car.

“Hey, Ash. Who’s car?” Dean asked as Ash walked away.

“This fine thing?” Ash smirked. “It’s Jo’s. I ‘borrowed’ it. I expect she’ll wanna kick my ass when I get back.”

“Better you than me,” Dean said and started up the Impala. Sam hadn’t quite moved back into his space when he had finished talking with Ash and Dean looked at him. Sam found himself staring and if they hadn’t been in a Denny’s parking lot Jared would have encouraged Sam to follow up on the looks.

 _Later, Sam. Ask for the folder,_ Jared told him. Sam apparently agreed because he asked Dean for the folder and the moment passed.

Sam and Jared examined the folder, Sam asking questions and Jared pointing things out. Sam quickly picked up the pattern.

“What?” Dean asked after Sam made some noise.

“I’m the only one left.”

“The only one what?” Dean seemed thoroughly confused and then he got that look on his face that he got when he was listening to Jensen. “How many others were there?”

Sam picked out a spreadsheet that Ash had created. “Hundreds to start with. Many of them died in childhood. Then recently. . .Andy, remember Andy?”

“Like I could forget him. He got his hands on my baby.” Dean ran a hand over the dash.

“And Ava?”

“That bitch?”

“You didn’t think so when you were fucking her.” Jared could feel Sam roll his eyes at his brother. “Turns out some hunter has been picking all of these guys off one by one.”

“Ash say who?”

“Only four are good enough and two of those are dead. That leaves Gordon Walker and Steve Wandell.”

“Wandell’s dead,” Dean said, his tone flat.

Jared wondered for a moment if Wandell had died in this universe the same way he had died in the storyline back home. If he did, why didn’t Sam know? Jared worried for a moment that Sam had picked up on what he had thought.

“That leaves Walker. The last one, Scott Carey. . .was killed a week ago. If he tracked all of these down. Dean, he’s probably after me.”

“I’ll take care of Walker if he shows up.” Dean’s voice was even more flat, if that was possible.

“What is going on, Dean? What happened to Wandell?” Sam asked.

“Wandell’s dead. That’s all you need to know, Sam.”

“Don’t treat me as though I’m five. If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Jared and he sure as hell can’t lie to me. Maybe it isn’t the same thing but it might be close enough.”

Dean appeared to talk with Jensen again then he reluctantly nodded.

“Fine, Sam, you want to know? You killed Wandell.”

“Ha, Ha. Very funny. What really happened, you accidentally kill him?”

“No, Sam. You were possessed and you killed him.” Dean reached over and pushed Sam’s sleeve up. “I had to get you to Bobby’s and trick the thing in you to get into the Devil’s trap. It had locked itself inside you; I had to break the seal to get it to leave.”

Sam stared in disbelief at Dean. He remembered waking up at Bobby’s with a tattoo and burn on his arm. Dean and Bobby both swore he had been sick. Possession, Demons. . . Jared could feel Sam’s rage building.

 _Sam, they were scared. They wanted to protect you._ Jared tried to calm him down.

 _ **But if we had talked about it, we might have figured this out long ago. What gave them the right to not tell me?**_ Sam asked him.

He was avoiding the real subject here. Jared wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he brought it up. Maybe this should wait until they found some place to stop for the night? Damn, he wished he could talk with Jensen, he would have worked out exactly how to calm Sam down.

Dean reached over and put his hand on Sam’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

With those words, Sam’s rage drained away, leaving sadness and sorrow in its wake. Sam turned and looked out the window. He didn’t say anything as Dean drove throughout the day and into the night. Nothing as he pulled into a motel and told him he was going to get a room.

The only reaction he gave Dean was when he walked into the room and saw the single queen sized bed.

“Last room,” Dean spoke from behind him. Sam shrugged and dropped, fully dressed onto one side of the bed, curling in on himself.

“I’m going to get some food.” Dean paused. “Want anything?”

Sam ignored him and finally Dean just left.

 _You fucking happy?_ Jared asked Sam after waiting to see if he was going to get out of his funk on his own.

 _ **Leave me alone,**_ Sam told him.

 _No, I won’t. You want someone to feel sorry for you? I won’t. Hell, I can’t._

 _  
**You never killed anyone, did you?**   
_

_Neither have you, idiot._ Jared said. _You were possessed. Don’t you listen? You obviously don’t remember what happened, how does that make you responsible?_

Sam didn’t answer him but he seemed to listen. The last thing Jared wanted was a self-destructive Sam on his hands. Maybe it was time to bring up his idea. It would get Sam out of worrying about this and onto worrying about it.

 _ **Just tell me, you’re giving me a headache,**_ Sam told him.

 _I think I’ve worked out how Jen and I can go home. I mean, we’ve told you about the demons. You believe us. I think it is the together thing. . ._

 ** _Not this again. Listen and listen to me closely, Jared. Dean does not want me, not that way,_** Sam told him.

 _Asked him, have you?_

“You know I haven’t,” Sam said out loud just as Dean walked back into the room.

“Haven’t what?” Dean asked. He seemed pretty happy that Sam was talking.

 _Ask him!_ Jared insisted. _If you don’t, I will._

 ** _Fine!_** Sam told him. “Dean, will you please tell this idiot in my head that you don’t want me, that you never have. God, I can’t believe I even said that.”

Dean didn’t say anything. He turned and made sure that the door was locked and dead bolted before he turned back around and looked at Sam. Jared could feel how uncertain Sam suddenly was. He had been positive that Dean would ‘of course’ deny it.

Dean walked over and looked down at Sam sitting on the bed. “I. . .” he started, his face in shadow, so that neither Sam nor Jared could read his expression. “I,” he took a deep breath and finished, “can’t.”

“If this is because of that idiot that you have in your head,” Sam threatened.

“It’s not. Sammy, you sure you want to talk about this?” Dean offered him a way out that Sam refused to take.

“Dean, I need to know.”

Sighing, Dean ran a hand through his hair. He motioned for Sam to scoot over and Sam did it. Dean looked out at the room, definitely not looking at Sam. “When you were seventeen, Dad caught me looking at your ass.” He swallowed, and then it seemed he almost had to force out what he said next.

“Dad said I had two choices.” Dean paused for so long that both Sam and Jared though he might not continue.

“One, I could pull my shit together and never let you even suspect that I felt that way.” This time Dean stopped talking for long enough that Sam had to ask.

“What was the other choice?”

“Oh, that I could leave. Sammy, that just wasn’t an option,” Dean said. “I understood why you left. I can’t tell you how much I regret dragging you back into this.”

“Did I ever tell you why Dad pushed me to go to college?” Sam asked. Dean shook his head. Sam blushed and ducked his head. “He walked in on me jacking off, and just before I came.” Sam paused and Jared could feel how embarrassed he had been. Seventeen getting caught jacking off by your father was bad enough, getting caught saying your brother’s name took the embarrassment to a whole new level of ‘I wish I were dead rather than here’.

“Yeah?” Dean asked.

“I said. . . I said. . .” Sam was so embarrassed that his ears felt hot. “I said your name.”

“So all this time?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “And you want?”

“Always have, Dean. You just pushed me away so hard.”

“Jessica?”

“I loved her, but I loved you first,” Sam said.

“You don’t think this is just because of,” Dean asked, as if he feared the answer, “Jensen and Jared?”

Sam shook his head. “How can it be, I’ve felt like this forever. What about you?”

Dean leaned slowly towards Sam, his gaze on Sam’s face. Hope and desire in his eyes, his lips parted and Sam couldn’t take his eyes off of Dean’s. Sam’s eyes closed just before Dean’s lips touched his.

Sighing, Sam parted his lips and let his tongue seek out Dean’s. They both groaned as the kiss deepened and Sam felt the sound go straight to his cock. Reaching up, he threaded his fingers through Dean’s short hair. Hardly believing his luck, their kisses became more and more frantic.

Dean pulled back and kissed down Sam’s neck. Tilting his head back to allow Dean more access, Sam opened his eyes and stared unseeing at the ceiling. Dean ran a hand up his shirt and he couldn’t stop his hips from canting up and Dean chuckled at him.

“Dean,” Sam said and his voice turned to a moan as Dean slid his hand down and covered Sam’s denim-enclosed cock. Suddenly Sam found himself pulled up, Dean’s hands at his pants. Sam slid his hands in and unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the floor, just as Dean’s hit the ground. Stepping out of his jeans, Sam felt suddenly awkward.

“It’s okay, Sammy. We don’t have to.” Dean looked up at him. “Nothing, we don’t have to do anything you don’t.” Dean was stopped by a hand to his mouth.

“I don’t know what I want to do, but I know I want to do it with you,” Sam said and Dean nodded.

Sam was surprised when Dean pushed him back on the bed. Then his brother climbed on top of him. Pushing Sam’s shirt up and kissing the skin as it was revealed. Licking and biting on Sam’s nipples almost bucking Dean off of him as desire shot through his body. Dean moved up and attacked his neck and collarbone, sucking on Sam’s skin until he left a chain of marks across his chest and left Sam writhing underneath him.

Pulling Dean up so that he could kiss him, Sam felt Dean’s erection pressing against his stomach. Sam moved so that Dean and his cocks could rub. And then Dean was grinding down against him and kissing him until he forgot to breathe. The excitement of Dean wanting to be with him suddenly overwhelmed him and he pushed up and cried out Dean’s name as he came.

Dean seemed to be waiting for him because within moments he was pressed tight against Sam and Sam felt a warm wetness. “Sammy,” Dean breathed out his name like a prayer.

Feeling a sudden lassitude come over him, Sam knew he would have to move before he fell asleep. Dean was almost a dead weight against him and while Sam was more than willing to be Dean’s pillow, he needed a shower and so did his brother. Dean seemed to realize the same thing because he was off of Sam and pulling him to his feet.

Sam walked to the bathroom and stripped out of his t-shirt and soggy underwear. He couldn’t say if he was disappointed or relieved when Dean didn’t follow him in. Quickly, Sam started the shower and stepped in. Washing with one ear cocked to the door, half hoping that Dean would join him. When he didn’t, Sam hurried so that Dean could get cleaned up.

Stepping out of the shower, Sam grabbed a towel just like hundreds of times before and snagged his dirty clothes off of the floor. He dropped them into a pile with his jeans and kicked them to the side. While Sam waited for Dean to get done he was again uncomfortable being naked. Getting some clean underwear out of his duffel, Sam slipped into them and then into bed.

Dean came out of the bathroom and Sam looked at him, he didn’t need Jared pointing out how exhausted he looked, they had been going and going, Dean more than him. Suddenly Sam was hit with a vision.

He was outside the window looking in at Dean. He couldn’t tell what had been going on but if he didn’t know better, sex had happened. But then again, Sam Winchester was the spawn of evil. Fornicating with your brother was just a drop in the bucket, he was sure.

Knowing that together they were stronger, he needed to take out Dean before he could kill Sam. The boys were hard to track, he had just lucked out and pulled into the motel and then had seen the Impala. It hadn’t taken too much work to figure out which room was theirs. He pulled the gun up and aimed it at Dean’s heart.

Jared pulled Sam out of the vision. It was happening now. “Dean. Down!” Sam yelled though his head felt like it was splitting apart. It was a show of just how much they trusted one another when Dean immediately dropped to the floor moments before a bullet pierced the window and the wall behind him.

“Sam?” Dean called out.

“He’s still out there. It’s Walker.” Sam said as Dean crawled across the floor to the bag that held their guns. “Manager’s called the cops by now.” Just then the phone rang. They both ignored it. Then Dean’s cell went off.

Dean looked at the caller ID and then looked at Sam in disbelief. “Yeah?” he said. “No. Gordon, you can go to hell.” Dean held the phone a bit away from his ear as Walker yelled at him. “You think so? Guess we’ll meet you there then.” Dean shut his phone.

“We’ve got to get out of here,” he said unnecessarily as Sam had already crawled and got his bag. He managed to get into some sweats and a tee and he tossed the same to Dean. It was always hard to fight naked. Zipping the bag after stuffing everything into it, Sam flinched as Dean cocked his gun. “Head?” and Sam made a slight movement of agreement. His head was killing him as usual after a vision.

They got out a back window and stole someone’s Corsica. It nearly killed Dean to leave his baby but he knew they would be back for her. Parking where they could see the front of the motel, they saw the cops show up, search an empty room and call a tow truck for the Impala. After the police left and before the tow truck showed up, they watched as a tall black man slipped into the room. Sam made a quick phone call and then they watched him pull out his cell phone.

Dean’s phone vibrated because he had turned off the ringer and he flipped it open. “Yeah?” he said again. He listened and Sam and Jared could hear him describing what he was going to do to Sam when he got him. Sam looked at Dean and how emotionless his face was growing. “Keep it up Walker and I will take you out.”

“I’d like to see you try. Dean, you know the name of Winchester used to stand for something. How proud would your dad be of you knowing that you’re fucking your evil little brother? Did he promise you something? Evil lies, Dean, it always lies.”

Dean stayed calm and just listened, letting Walker ramble on. Watching as the police surrounded the room. They busted in the front door and Walker tried to make a break around back but thanks to Sam the cops were there too. They watched as Walker set his gun down on the ground and raised his hands in surrender.

In the confusion of the arrest and everything, Dean slipped down and after the last cruiser pulled out of the parking lot, just as the tow truck turned onto the road that led to the motel, Dean slid behind the steering wheel of the Impala and drove his baby out of there. Meeting up with Sam on a side road where he had ditched the Corsica.

Driving for two hours, Dean called it good and pulled into another motel. Sam was sleeping against the window and Dean got the room and their stuff inside before he woke his brother. “Come on, Sammy.”

 _“Jen?”_ Jared said.

“I’m here, Jay,” Dean said. “Let’s get to bed.” He pulled Jared out of the car.

 _“Bed’s good,”_ Jared mumbled as Dean maneuvered him into the motel room. He got him into bed and lay down beside him. Jared or Sam rolled over and engulfed him in a hug, leg over his arm across his chest. Dean felt approval coming from Jensen as he let exhaustion claim him.

Sunshine shining in his eyes woke him up. The motel faced west, and the evening sun shone through the curtains. Dean blinked and checked the time. Five in the afternoon. His stomach rumbled and told him it was past time to eat.

Sam laughed at him. Dean turned to see him sitting at the table with a burger in front of him. “Yours is in the bag. Don’t look at me like that, I tried to wake you up.” He suddenly got a wicked grin on his face. “Did you know that if you’re tired enough you can sleep though a blow job?”

Dean was shocked for a moment, then he smiled. “I don’t think it’s possible to sleep that soundly. Tell Jared that I think he’s very funny.”

“How did you know it was Jared?”

“Sammy, how often do you talk about blowjobs? Besides, you get this look on your face when he talks to you.”

 _I’m sure you do too._ Jensen told him.

 _  
**I’m sure I do too. I’m just not sure Sam’s that observant.**   
_

_If he isn’t then Jared. . ._ Just then Sam spoke up and told Dean that he was talking to Jensen. _is._

Dean gave his brother a grin and poked him. “Now you owe me a blow job.”

“What?”

Grabbing his cock, Dean rubbed it suggestively.

“Don’t you want to eat?” Sam sounded nervous.

“Come here, Sam,” Dean directed him. Sam pushed away from the table and walked over to where Dean lay on the bed. They looked at one another and then, for a moment , Sam had the absent ‘talking with Jared’ look on his face. Sam knelt beside him on the bed. Dean watched as Sam reached out and grabbed his waistband. Dean lifted his hips so that Sam could slip his sweats down. His semi-hard cock sprang free and Sam eyed it like a treat. Dean wondered what he and Jared had talked about.

Then his cock was being engulfed down to the base and Dean had to clutch the bedspread so as not to grab Sam’s head. Sam backed off and sucked on the tip of his cock, running his tongue around the head and then sucking him back down. Dean groaned and Sam did too. Vibrations running up his cock, making his balls tighten. Trying to think of anything but what Sam was doing, Dean wanted this to last but the noises that Sam was making made it impossible for him to hold out for long.

“Sammmmyyy,” Dean said and tried to pull his brother off of him before he came, but Sam wouldn’t be moved. He just went at it with a little more vigor, he deep throated Dean again and Dean watched as his cock disappeared into Sam’s mouth and that was all it took, he was coming. Sam sucked him until it was just this side of painful, then he released Dean’s softening cock with a pop. Smacking his lips as he moved to kiss Dean, he licked his lips before leaning down to lick at Dean’s.

“Good?” Sam asked as he pulled back.

“Ung…” Dean responded.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let’s eat.”

Dean’s stomach chose that moment to rumble again. “See, your tummy agrees with me,” Sam said and held a hand out to Dean to help him off the bed.

Letting Sam help him up, Dean pulled his sweats up with a kind of absentmindedness and wandered over to the table. He stood and stared at the food like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. There was no way Sam had just given him the best blow job he had ever had in his life. He picked up a french fry and ate it still staring down at the food.

“Dean?” Sam asked, his voice hesitant and Dean looked at him. “Sit?”

Looking at the chair, he moved and sat down. Grabbing a burger out of the bag he took a bite, unknowingly staring at Sam. “Dean?” The worry in Sam’s voice made Dean focus on him.

“I’m okay. Better than okay. Sam that was. . .” Dean stopped out of words for once.

“Horrid?” Sam whispered, his eyes wide with worry.

“No, no no. Fucking amazing. Sam, where did you learn to do that?”

Sam blushed and Dean suddenly got it. “Jared.” He got a nod in agreement.

 _ **That’s what you get?**_ Dean asked.

 _That and more. Jared is amazing. I bet Sam is too,_ Jensen told him.

Dean felt himself growing hard again at the thought of being with Sam. He took another bite of his burger. He didn’t notice how quiet Sam grew. Finishing the last bite he looked across the table at his brother, who was looking down at the table, a dejected look on his face.

“What?” Dean asked and Sam just shook his head. Dean kicked him under the table and Sam looked up at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears. What the hell?

“What?” he asked again, a little more gently.

“You’d rather be with Jared,” Sam said and Dean looked at him like he had grown another head.

“What?” Dean couldn’t help sounding like a broken record. He couldn’t understand what Sam was thinking.

“I learned how to give head from Jared. If we have sex I’ll have him helping me with that too… you should just be with him.” Sam’s voice was even teary.

“For christ’s sake, Sam. I learned to kiss from Suzy Buchanan in the fifth grade. It doesn’t mean you want to kiss her, does it?”

“Not the same.”

“Yes, you idiot. It is. Doesn’t matter where or how you learn as long as it’s you. Sammy.” Dean had moved over in between Sam’s legs. “You are the one I want. You are the one I’ve wanted for so long that I can’t believe that you want me.”

Sam pulled him down into a kiss. “I do want you,” he murmured against Dean’s lips and Dean lost whatever control he had as he ravaged Sam’s mouth, stopping only when he tasted blood.

Pulling back, Dean looked at Sam with his lips all swollen and felt his desire grow even more. He got Sam to his feet and led him to the bed. Kissing him gently, Dean went and dug in his duffel until he found the lube. He walked back over to Sam, who was watching him closely.

“Lube,” he said as he sat down on the bed. He was kind of hoping he wasn’t going to have to explain what the lube was for. He wasn’t sure how much Sam knew.

Sam smiled at him and put his hand over the bottle. “I can prepare, you don’t have to.”

‘But I want to’ died on his lips as Jensen suggested something. _Tell him you want to watch._ Leaning back a bit, he gave Sam an encouraging smile. “I wanna watch.”

“Dean,” Sam sounded taken aback. “Really?”

“If you’ll let me.”

Sam must have made up his mind because he smiled and flipped open the lid of the lube.

 _He’s been talking with Jared again, you had better be ready for this,_ Jensen warned him and he peaked Dean’s interest.

Sam stripped and lay down in front of Dean. He flipped the bottle open and squirted some of the lube into his left hand. He then slid one finger around and around in it like he was tracing the lines on his palm. The he lifted one leg and slid his hand down his thigh until his finger was at his entrance which he circled with his lubed up finger and pressed against his tight hole put didn’t press in.

Bringing his hand back up, he got more lube on his finger and once again circled his hole, his eyes on Dean. Dean, who had his hands down his pants and was barely controlling the urge to push Sam’s hand aside and push his cock into that tight hole. He held his breath as Sam pushed harder yet still didn’t breach the tight ring of muscle. Moaning as it finally slipped inside him, Dean stood and started stripping. Sam smiled and lay his head back.

Pulling his finger out, he slicked two of them up and, listening to his tutor, pushed out as he pushed in, his fingers slid in. Sam began to move them inside, fucking himself with them and Dean couldn’t look away, he stroked his cock in time with Sam’s movements. Dean knew the moment Sam touched his prostate, his cock jumped nicely and his eyes rolled back into his head. Dean groaned.

“What?” Sam asked out loud but his companion appeared to answer him because he got this grin on his face and pushed his fingers in again. Dean groaned when Sam did and his other hand slid down to his balls, he rolled them as he watched Sam fuck himself with his fingers. Then he pulled them out with a pop.

He got some more lube on them, only this time it was three and Dean was moaning even before Sam pushed them in. Sam’s fingers slid into him as Dean watched, thinking that this was torture. He pulled down on his balls to stop himself from coming as Sam moaned and pushed in four fingers.

“Sam,” Dean was whining this time and Sam was looking thoroughly debauched with lube running down his ass and all Dean could think about was pushing his dick inside his brother. Sam seemed to read his mind.

Pulling his fingers out, he looked at Dean with his crooked smile and his dimples flashing. “Fuck me, Dean, please.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice, he moved to position himself between his brother’s legs. Placing his cock at Sam’s well lubed entrance, he started to push in. Stopping with just his head in, he looked at Sam to see how he was doing. Dean felt Sam relax around him and Dean pushed all the way in.

Suddenly Jensen was in control but he wasn’t fucking Sam, he was making love to Jared. Don’t ask him how he knew, he just did. It felt so good, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. _“Love you, Jay.”_

Jared kissed him back. _“Love you too, Jen,”_ Jared told him. And then they were gone.

Dean just knew that Jensen had left and, by the look on Sam’s face, Jared was gone too. Then Sam tightened around Dean and Dean began to move. He took a hint from Jensen and made love to Sam. Kissing him and slowly moving until Sam was begging him to go faster and harder. Dean graciously complied. He pounded into his brother over and over, reaching between them he had barely touched Sam’s cock and Sam was coming. The sight of the pearly fluids splashing on Sam’s chest and the way Sam’s ass clamped down on his cock had Dean coming soon after.

He slid out of Sam and rolled beside him. Pulling the bedspread over the both of them Dean curled around his brother. This is where he belonged, no matter what. Sam’s breathing evened out and Dean whispered how much he loved him into his messy hair.

“Love you too, Dean.” And that said it all.

 _The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ---ALLAN K. CHALMERS_


End file.
